Thursday, May 31, 2007

16 weeks 2 days

Garritygal....Seriously? Bananas and sour cream? I have eaten cucumbers and sour cream but never bananas.

Yeah I have this one co-worker that is a total biotch. She is like 50 something and acts like she is some 13 year old emo kid with a major bitch gene. The world is so terrible, everyone hates me woe is me. She despises me and will spend a whole day following me around trying to find something negative to say to my boss about the job I have done. Except any attempt on her part to get me in trouble goes in my bosses ear and out the other. My boss loves me. I can't help it if I am younger, smarter, and cuter. So this lady just talks major shit about me to my co-workers. There are only a few people in my department and the one normal one work afternoons so basically I am screwed. SO I just sit in my office and surf the net lol. Maybe I will start working on that book though....definitely a good idea hee.

I have the worst friggin headache today. I don't know if it is sinuses and a bit of allergies or what but I am ready to shrivel up in a ball and pass the eff out. It started during my 3 mile lunch walk. As did the queasy stomach. Not liking that too much though it is definitly deterring me from eating. Anyhow I had to go home and DD had softball so I had to go to that. I offered her a dollar to slide into home when she got walked in from third. It was well spent cash. Hilarious. She is getting to be the little softball diva. She has her pink batting helmet and has decided that rolling up her sleeves to tan is a good idea lol.

Well I have worked out 29 days this month. Some days more than once. Now that it is the end of the month I am kinda of pissed about the two days that I missed. I did hit my goal of 20 days with 30 minutes of exercise. But I am issuing a new challenge to myself next month. I want to workout every day for at least 60 minutes. Whether it be 60 straight minutes or broken up into 30 minute sessions and dammit I am going to do it. I have one more week to get my bike mileage up to 12 miles at a time. I am totally going to ride my bike to work. Plus that will take care of my 60 minutes of cardio lol.

I weigh in tomorrow. I am freaked out. I have to stop being so hard on myself. This surgery is not a bypass. It does not work like that. It is slow and I have to do the work myself. I have worked my ass off this week and really want it to show in the numbers. I am almost out of the 230's. 2 more pounds and I am out. I would really like to see that tomorrow. Honestly I would love 4 pounds because that mean NEW SHOES!!!!! Oh and it means I have officially hit 50 pounds lost. But I don't want to expect too much. I just have to make sure I take off my shoes and empty my pockets when I get on the scale. At any rate I will check in tomorrow with my weigh in. I am out. I gotta get some sleep!

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

16 weeks 1 day

SO I did the second day of running for this week. Running after eating is a very very very bad idea. I seriously almost barfed everywhere. I took my 3 miles walk at work alone since my walking buddy was not there. It was fucking hot as hell out there today. 87 and muggy as hell. I was dripping with sweat when I arrived back at work. I also started my "coaching" job today lol. I must have looked like the sweatiest pig ever but I don't even care. It was fun. I am starting to be addicted to exercise. Better that then food that's for sure.

So I have been battling the scale demons all week. I want to weigh myself so badly. I promised I wouldn't but damn it is killing me inside. I can't stand this waiting a week crap. I know it is better for me to only weigh in weekly, I know it is. But I am a slave to the scale. You know I can't even have a scale at home because I would be on it every other hour. I only have the one at work. I need 4 more pound to truly hit 50. I really hope I make it this week. Hell after the plateau I had I really hope I just lose anything. Well at least I have my running.

I think the fill I got was a bit much. I am having a little bit of trouble eating some things. Actually quite a few things. But It is keeping me from eating so I don't want to fix it. I figure as long as I am getting food down I can deal with a little bit of chest pressure and saliva right? Anyhow I need to get my butt in bed. I am tired and Korrine has a game tomorrow so I don't think I will be getting a nap in after work.

Monday, May 28, 2007

15 weeks 6 days

I cannot figure out why in the hell I have been so fricken depressed. Am I too tired or something? Seriously. I just want to sit on my ass and do nothing. I have been going all weekend. I rode for about 7 miles yesterday which is a pretty darn big deal, just to follow it up today with another 5 mile ride and my running. The endorphins should be flowing like mad. I should not feel like I want to just jump in front of a damn truck. Maybe I am just really tired. I have had a pretty decent day, there is just no logical reason for me to feel like poo right now. Ugh and now I have a headache. Is it wrong to take vicodin for a headache? If I called it a migraine would it be more acceptable?

SO my friends had this BBQ thing for Memorial Day. Just another excuse to get drunk. Am I the only person in my group of friends who is so completely over that? Don't get me wrong I like to have myself a good time and get a little toasty on occasion but it just seems like any night of the week there is a good excuse to be found to get hammered. I just don't get it. I know I have kids and maybe I would think that was the difference but I see other people in this group who have kids and are out all the time. It just does not seem appropriate I guess. Or maybe I am just bitchy and that is why I have issues with it. I mean really who am I to talk about what anyone else does. I don't really care, I just need something to bitch about.

I have been working my ass off lately. Working out and crap. Hell I do at least an hour of cardio each day if not more. I walk 3 miles a day at work on my lunch break, I run three times a week (yeah I will definitely have to mention that one later), I ride my bike, my ass hurts in places I did not even know existed from the damn bike seat. I seem to expect this weight to just fall off and it is not. It is just slowly creeping off. Hell I think I can put on 5 pounds on one day but it takes me 5 weeks just to lose that. I need to stop being so damn hard on myself and start being more patient. Anyhow the running thing. So I am now on week 4 of the couch to 5K.
Week 4 consists of:
a 5 minute warm up walk
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Walk 1/4 mile (or 2-1/2 minutes)
Jog 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
Walk 1/8 mile (or 90 seconds)
Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
Yeah I actually did all this believe it or not. Me and my 3.7mph lol. I don't even care how slow I went the fact that i did it was amazing enough for me. I ran for 5 minutes straight! TWO TIMES! I almost shat myself when it was over I could not believe I did it. I think I am going to take it up just a little bit more either 3.8 or 3.9 the next time I run it (Wednesday). I do not want to over do it. One thing I can say is that if anyone says that surgery is the easy way out I am going to blacking their effing eye. The only thing that surgery keeps in check is the amount of some foods I eat. Yeah some. I can still eat crackers and ice cream until the cows come home. I still have to use a huge amount of willpower to actually eat the right things and to work out. I am working my ass off here and I deserve every little bit of success that comes along with it.

I think I have figured out the root of my problems. Work. I do not want to go to work. I hate the people I work with. Most of them. They are terrible and talk shit about me all the time. It is miserable for me to be there. That must be why I am torturing myself right now and not just going to sleep. Sleep means work comes faster. Ugh. I need to get the hell out of that environment. Okay I think my little bitch fest is over. Night night time.

Friday, May 25, 2007

15 weeks 3 days

Okay I have finally gotten past that damned plateau. I am down 3 more pounds since Monday to 232. 4 more pounds means I will have lost 50 pounds. I can't even believe it.

So I guess that Friday is now my official weigh in day. I guess that would be better as I am usually worse on the weekends so now I will have the whole week to work it off before weighing. I went running at the track last night. Let me tell you I did make it the whole way around for 400 meters of actual running but I damn near died doing it. At any rate I did do six laps a total of three walking and three running. Along with my 3 mile walk at lunch I guess it was not too shabby. I have to get out early for my walk today since it is supposed to rain and walking outside is way more interesting than walking on the treadmill. My arm is killing me from pitching practice and I am so dang tired. I wonder if I took a nap in my office if anyone would notice? Man I really am about to fall asleep here. I am almost welcoming this rain that is coming because at least it will get me a nap. I really will have an excuse not to be outside. I mean I am enjoying my new more active lifestyle I have taken on lately, but with this 5 am start time I just need to get my butt in bed a little bit earlier.

I am totally ready for this two day weekend I have coming up. Yeah I meant to say two days. I work six days a week so anytime I have more than 1 day off in a row it is time to throw a fricken party. I need a break from that place.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

So I didn't die...

from the running I did the other night. Actually I think I could have gone farther. Pretty impressive for 235 pounds. I cannot wait until I can actually run long distances. This exercise thing is really starting to leach on the me. I am getting a bit obsessive about it, which is fine by me because I am actually enjoying it. I love taking my 3 mile trek during lunch at work. I am loving being outside. I can't wait until I build up enough endurance to ride my bike the 12 miles to work and the 12 miles home (not only because I want to but this $3.59 per gallon is killing my budget right now). I played softball with both of my kids last night for about an hour which was probably one of the funnest things I have done in a long time. I know I am their Mom and maybe a little biased but I really do have the most incredible kids on the planet. I don't think there is anything that my daughter can't do. She amazes me everyday with how good she is at everything. She loves school and is an awesome student. I mean the kid is in Kindergarten and she is reading 2-3 grade short novels. She has passed all of her addition and subtraction math facts and is on multiplication. Multiplication in Kindergarten? Her class is a K/1 split and she does all of her academics with the first graders. She is doing great in her dance class and loves going there. Yesterday her and I were practicing pitching for the first time since her softball team does not have a pitcher and she was just doing a great job at it. And Jared is so great too. As much of a little trouble maker he can be he is one smart cookie. He can work a computer better than I can. He is a little sponge and his sister keeps trying to teach him everything she knows. He was trying to bat yesterday (and doing a darn good job at it) and Korrine was pitching to him. She kept telling him to just watch the ball from her hand to his bat, and he was hitting pretty darn good for a just turned 4 year old!

Anyhow speaking of softball did I mention I have become the new pitching coach for Korrine's team? Yep I was outed by coaches wife as a former softball player and pitcher and volunteered by them into the position lol. It should be fun and interesting. Have you ever seen 6-8 year olds try and fast pitch a softball? Hehe. I really just want a t-shirt. I will do pretty much anything for a free t-shirt. Hell, that is one of the reasons I want to run the 5K.

So once I got home from Korrine's game yesterday I went for a short bike ride with Dan. Probably only a couple of miles. Let me just say my lungs were fine and my legs were fine. So why stop at two miles? Well my hands were on fire from holding the handles and it felt like someone shoved a boot up my vajayjay. Bike seats are not fat girl friendly. But hey eventually I have to get used to it and maybe figure out how to cop a cheap feel off of it lol. Then maybe I will really enjoy the 12 miles to work!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

May 22nd...15 weeks out.

So someone told me I should start a blog about my weight loss surgery journey. That was about a month ago. Well what the heck I guess it is about high time I log something about what is going on with me. So lets start here, 15 weeks and 44 pounds down in my "new life". People are noticing I am smaller but I am still big. Heck my poor daughter was teased yesterday about her Mommy being fat. Luckily she is good kid and told the other girl not to talk bad about her Mommy because Mommy is losing weight and will be skinny soon. Bless her heart. My 6 year old has more confidence in me than I do. Okay anyhow back on track here. I had bariatric surgery on Feb 6, 2007. When most people hear the term "bariatric" they automatically think of a gastric bypass. You know where they slice and dice your innards and reconnect a new baby stomach right to the poop shoot? Okay well maybe not quite like that but anyhow that's not the procedure I had done. I had a Lap-Band installed. I say installed because that's pretty much what they did. The Lap Band is a silicone implant, sort of comparable to a baby inner tube. It is wrapped around the top of the stomach creating a small pouch so I can only eat a little bit of food at a time. The "inner tube" is connected to a small port that lies under my skin in the center of my stomach via a tube. Now this band can be adjusted to make the hole from the smaller top pouch of my stomach bigger or smaller depending on how much fluid is injected or withdrawn through the port. Think of the upper small pouch of my stomach and the larger lower portion as and hour glass. The more fluid injected in the band will make it tighter around my stomach and make the opening between the upper and lower parts smaller. The smaller the hole, the less I can eat and the slower it moves into the lower pouch. The larger the opening the faster the food moves through. Pretty easy science. Except I really try to cheat it sometimes. You can move the food away from the fat girl but you can't get the fat girl away from the food.

I really thought this would be much easier than it is. Don't get me wrong I am not complaining. I feel great. I have lost 44 pounds which is pretty much the most I have ever lost at one time. But if anyone thinks that surgery is the easy way out they are sorely mistaken. This is the hardest thing I have done in my life. I still have to watch what I am eating. Sure I have to eat less but this band can only do so much work. Some foods will go right on down if I keep shoving it in my face. Ice cream, milk shakes, crunchy snacks (chips, etc) are all very bad foods. I still have to diet to lose weight. I still have to exercise to lose weight. The only difference is that I can't eat a lot at once. But I could eat a little every hour if I wanted to. But that would defeat the purpose. And we are trying really hard to not do that.

Anyhow so right now my life consists of a liquid diet. But only for the rest of the day. I had a fill yesterday so that means two days of liquids. It's not so bad since I am not hungry. I eat more because I am bored not because I am hungry. And my exercising. Yeah that has been fun. At least it is getting better. I am enjoying it more and wanting to do it. I walk three miles at work everyday. I have a walking partner who also had the crazy idea with me that we were going to do a 5K in July. Yeah I am a big girl and she is a smoker. We are not planning on finishing anywhere above last and next to last. It is a race to see which of us is going to lose lol. Hell I am going to be happy to finish within an hour! So I have begun training for that. I have to run for 3 whole minutes today. I'll let you know tomorrow how much oxygen they had to give me at the hospital when it is all said and done.

Well I have some yogurt calling my name. Did you know that yogurt and sugar free pudding are considered full liquids? Yeah me either.