Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Charlotte's Web

So last night there was this gargantuan spider outside my doorwall. I mean this thing was so big that I half expected to see the words "Some Pig" woven into the web, which was about 4 feet wide. So I figured if I used the wasp and hornet spray I could stand about 13 feet away while spraying the thing down. After emptying about a half a can of the stuff on him and the web I realized he was never going to die. I mean it was amazing how he was covered in the foam and just shook it off and kept crawling around. Finally I got one of DH's shoes and the flyswatter and doing my best girlie shriek ran at the thing with the shoe, hit it against the window, and repeatedly beat it on the ground with the flyswatter until it was in about 9834759 pieces. Then I needed a Valium. The kids of course thought this whole thing was hilarious. DH just sat back and watched the whole thing. Sometimes I think he is more of a sissy girl than me. At any rate, the spider is dead. And I did not sleep well. At about quarter of two I woke up to two cat or something fighting in my backyard. I have good sounds effects to go along with this but I just can't do them justice via blogger. In fact the spider story is funnier if I can tell it to you with fun hand gestures and sound effects. Anyhow, so after I got up and saw not cats anywhere I went back to bed. Within 5 minutes I hear some some guy yelling obscenities like about how he was going to beat the person he was talking to down. I assume he was on the phone because I did not hear another voice yelling back. And it was more of a "I am going to shoot you down" conversation than anything else. Usually when people get too loud in the middle of the night I will yell out my window for them to shut up. But there was banging on my fence and I'll admit, I was a little scared. Probably the first time I have ever felt really scared in my own house like that. This is the penalty I pay for buying a corner house down the street from the ghetto I suppose. Had I know I would have sicced good old Charlotte on him pre-death. There is a good chance she could have taken him down.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Another day another dollar

Only 7.5 more hours and then I can leave, right? Don't get me wrong, I do like my job. A lot. But sometimes dealing with all of the cranky people I work with just makes me miserable. I don't want to sit on the edge of my bed every weekday morning of my life giving myself a pep talk about coming into work. I shouldn't have to. And I just get so frustrated sometimes looking at all of the dishonesty and corruption going on around here. So many people think they are just entitled to a paycheck. For instance some of the drivers here have hardly any kind of a route to run anymore. They can go home and do their housework, mow the lawn, take a nap, work a second job, whatever. And no one questions it. People can have FMLA leaves (probably the number 1 most abused thing around here) and take every weekend off using this and no one questions it. People can be stalked and made to feel unsafe, go to HR complaining and they don't even question it. It seems like no one in this organization has any balls to do the right thing. Put lowjack on the work vans, investigate medical claims, start providing a safe environment for your employees. It just makes me so angry.

So I am definitely going to the group thing on Saturday. One of my banded friends is going also. I am still having trouble doing things alone. I don't know why I am so anxious about it. Friday I am supposed to be doing this thing at church, joining a small group. I am so nervous about it. I am just socially retarded I think. I am so bad with meeting people and talking to people. I mean once I know them I don't shut up. People I know are shocked to hear me say I am shy. Well I am with new people. It is the meeting and greeting part that scares me.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Well darn it...

I missed a day lol.

So I got my fill yesterday after a whole lot of complaining about it. My surgeon does not like to do fills before he goes on vacation, and of course he is going to Mexico next week. Plus he was in a crabby mood yesterday. Plus I had to deal with this because I was working in his office (as I used to) to help out. So I had to wait until he was in a good mood from some compliant patients and they sneak myself in the exam room. Then I turned on the waterworks. Needless to say it worked. I am back up to 3cc in my band. And I actually followed my full liquid diet yesterday and so far today. Usually I do not do that, but I am a little freaked out that this may be a bit much of a fill. Last time I was at 3cc I needed an unfill badly. But since I have been eating so much and gaining I needed something to jump start my weight loss. If I follow the rules it will be fine.

When I started this whole thing I really expected to be at goal by now. I expected this whole process to be cake. I mean seriously, I would just barf if I ate too much. WRONG. Sometimes I throw up, but more often than not I miserably keep the food down. I can still eat until I get sick. Granted it is less than before but it is still not a healthy habit. And it needs to change. As of yesterday I had gained 21 pounds. So yeah, it is possible to gain once you have had WLS.

I am going to be starting group therapy on Saturday. It is only $20 per session and it is every other week. I think it will be helpful. I really need some individual therapy as well. Hopefully this lady will work out and she accepts my insurance. It is important to me to fix up the inside now. I don't think the outside is going to improve much more without doing something about the inside.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

It hurts

to be a Lions fan. I need valium an booze just to make it through every sunday.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Just to continue the trend...

of posting daily.  I don't have much to say other than I am tired and blah.

Friday, October 3, 2008

So tired of the BS

I am so sick and tired being treated like some sort of second class citizen. I am generally not rude to people and pretty much just stick to myself at work. There is a woman that works here that is channeling her inner satan on a regular basis. She is just downright mean and evil to me. Rude and obnoxious is a good word. Any chance she get she goes whining to our supervisor about something she thinks I have or have not done. Witch get a friggin life. I am sick and tired of smiling pretty and trying to be nice to you when you can't even say hello when you walk by my desk in the morning. You are mean and you are a evil. This woman once told my boss during one of our discussions that she was raised "a good irish catholic girl". Umm yeah, whatever the heck that means. If that means judging everyone that walk by, trying to get people in trouble for petty things, purposely causing trouble, and just downright being rude to others, then yeah I guess you were raised that way. Oh and just because you have 92870298347 pictures of Jesus is your cubicle does not make you a good Christian. It just makes you a hypocrite.

Okay now that I have that out of my system. Ugh. It just makes me so happy for the weekend. Tomorrow DH is going to the Michigan game and I am going to take the minis to Home Depot. They do this free woodworking project the first Sat. of each month and the kids love doing it. I believe they are making wooden fire engines this month. Correction, I am making wood fire engines this month. They are too cute, but way too little to do all that hammering. It is a fun time though. Then maybe we will hit up the apple orchard. Good times, good times.

So I am thinking that I need a fill. I ate an entire cheeseburger for breakfast. And in like 10 minutes. So very bad. I need to face the facts. I am failing here. I am not following the bandster rules I should be and I need to start doing it now. I keep putting off this fill because I get sick when I eat, but I am eating too much. I am taking huge bites which is what is causing my sickness. I am just eating how I used to eat and I need to change that.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Ignorance is bliss....

Did I really need to know that a Tim Horton's large double double is 230 calories? Because now that I know I can't make the conscious decision to drink another one ever again. I mean, seriously. Seriously. Seriously! I suppose I could just use some fat free creamer and splenda but it is just not the same. I guess it is time to put on my big girl pants and deal with it. That is like 6 weight watchers points. 1/4 of my daily total. I think I liked WW more when I was 280 and got like 35 points a day. This 22-25 bullshit sucks. And yes I am dieting again thank you very much.

Oh and 3 days in a row must be some kind of new record.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

So here I am again...1 day later

See I can get on here 2 days in a row.

So food was not too bad yesterday. That is, if you consider pizza for 2 meals, cake and chocolate dunkers not too bad. Yeah, I have problems. But I can't help it if there is a going away party at work and my FIL decideds to buy us dinner. Who am I to argue, right?

So DH did not get the job at the hospital. Apparently they care more about what someone did as a young teenager than what they have done for the last 12 years of their life. I am pretty disappointed. For all of the corruption and dishonesty I witness on a daily basis from this place, it disgusts me that a good quality person like DH can't get employment. Upset and angry. Not to mention I am frustrated to not have heard from my interview last week. You don't want me, fine. But at least give a girl a call or something.

Yep, I can see this turning into some sort of ridiculous pity party.