Saturday, January 10, 2009

So many changes, so many things unchanged

As usual my plans have been changed again. There is enough snow that church is out of the question tonight. 25 miles after 7 inches of snow is not my idea of a good time. Or a safe time at that. But now there is the dilemma of getting to the gym tomorrow. My plan was to go when they open at 9am. But now I have to get to church tomorrow and I have the boy with me. And of course there is no day care at the gym on Sundays. So I am thinking I might go to church for 9:15, take the kids to my parents house afterward, hit the gym up then and go home. It is risky, mostly because I do not follow through on exercise in the afternoons. But if I do that then DH can pick the kids up after he gets off work and I can nap after I run. Sometimes I think this is God's way of helping me to learn how to deal with things not going the way I planned. It seems to happen a lot lately and I think the extra practice is helping.

I just read through my entire blog from the beginning (not that big of a feat since there were like 40 posts total for 07 and 08).  It is funny how much I used to swear. I used to swear that much irl as well. It is a huge thing for me to have pretty much tamed my potty mouth. I have still not gotten rid of all the potty mouthing but those who are closest to me notice. But so much of what I wrote was in such anger and disgust with myself. I don't want to be that girl anymore. I still struggle so much with my weight and food and that negative attitude has gotten me absolutely nowhere. Actually nowhere would be better than where I have gotten myself, as now I am 25 pounds farther behind than I was at this time last year. But at the same time I feel like I might have this whole new insight on myself that just might not be there had I not dealt with the last year. 

My spirituality has grow immensely this year. Just like my body. But that is a good thing. I feel like I am in a really good place this year with all that. Heck, I am rearranging my schedule to go to church. That would not have happened at this time last year. I know only good things are going to come of it. It makes me feel good about myself and feel like I can accomplish anything. I like that feeling. It's nice.

So it is snowy, and I know I am not supposed to but I think I am going to go run the snow blower. I can't stand the driveway being all yuck.

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