Thursday, February 12, 2009

Angry and Hurt

Generally I blog about my health and fitness and lackthereof. Yeah, this is a bit different. But I need to get it out somewhere.

Maybe I need to be more humble. Maybe I need a reality check. Maybe others don't see any kind of greatness in me. Maybe others don't think much of me at all. Maybe I am a more horrible person than I think. Maybe it is not everyone else. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I need to step back and take a better look at myself. Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I don't try hard enough. Maybe I am just too tired. Maybe I just can't make it. Maybe hardly anyone likes me. Maybe everyone actually hates me. Maybe I don't do a very good job. Maybe I am just too emotional. Maybe I am delusional. Maybe I don't believe in myself. Maybe I believe in myself too much. Maybe I should pray more. Maybe I don't pray enough. Maybe I should stop letting others in. Maybe I should stop kicking people out. Maybe I am stupid. Maybe I am smarter than I give myself credit for. 

Or maybe, just maybe, I need to focus on myself and stop letting the thoughts and actions of others determine who I am and who I could be. 

1 comment:

garritygal said...

My son has a great attitude. He told me the other day, "I just don't care what people think of me."

I sure wish I could feel like that, but I think I have the same things going around in my head (like you)..However, as I get older, I'm starting to have a little, I don't give a sh*t feeling. It's hard, cause we want people to like us, not talk about us, think we are smart, think we are good parents, whatever. But you know, Jesus was perfect and look at all the people who ridiculed him, mocked him, hated him, tortured, etc, etc. You're screwed if you do, you're screwed if you don't.So, whatever is going on in your life right now, the only thing that matters is you and your family.
Tell everyone else to "bag it!!"
(trying not to swear here)..