Saturday, May 23, 2009

In a better place today.

So a friend emailed me and helped to give me a bit more perspective on how I am feeling and handling things. I know I did not respond but I do want to say thank you. It did help. 

I am making an appointment with my doctor to talk about things. After the culmination of the other night with me crumpled in the corner sobbing and unable to even get myself up to take care of my kids I knew I had to do something. I know I get all dramatic about things and wicked emotional. And based on the monthly timing I know it is hormonal. I don't always feel like that even though in the moment it certainly seems that way. But my PMS episodes are getting increasingly worse and I don't know if I can handle another one like this past week. It nearly tore me apart. The last time I was that bad was after I had my boy and I was suffering some major post-partum depression. So if the meds helped then hopefully they can do the trick now. 

So that is where I am at now. Not perfect but certainly not the mess I was a few days ago. Hopefully once I can get into the doctor I can this head thing regulated. Slow steps. Very slow steps. 

Today we are taking the kids camping. It is going to be a beautiful day and I am very thankful for that. The good friend who sent me that amazing email posted this on her blog and said she was going to reflect on it today. I think I am going to do the same because it is a beautiful quote:

Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more. -Brother DavidSteindl-Rast