Friday, August 7, 2009

I can't eat if I am typing....right?

This is the blog where I really don't have much to say (as if I ever do) but I have to type something to keep myself from shoving crackers into my mouth. My stomach has been sending the all full signal to my head since 3/4 of the way through my tiny salad. Yet I have finished the salad and moved on to the Ritz crackers. Now I am incredibly full. Full enough to discuss the incident at support group in an hour. My stomach hurts and I don't like it. Yet still I am here tying away and struggling to not eat anymore crackers. This whole head hunger thing sucks. 2.5 years later and I still don't have a hold on it. Hence the reason I am no where near goal. I constantly say that I am not an emotional eater but I have had an emotional day. So maybe that is where the need to feed is coming from.

So it is no big secret that we have trouble paying our bills. Not because we should but because we make the stupidest choices ever. Like buying stupid things. Really when all is said and done we should have well over $1000 to spend on gas, groceries and other random shit. Yet bills are not getting paid. Like my gas/electric bill. Apparently sometime down the line I missed a payment. Because I am supposed to be on the budget billing. You know, the one where regardless of use you pay the same each month? Well they cancelled my budget billing and have been trying to charge me for the whole thing. Since I am great at avoidance I just kept paying the budget price and ignored the phone calls and emails. Well at some point this stops working and they send out their little meter bitch to cancel my service. Through some very real tears and shenanigans the meter bitch says he can just cut my gas service and leave the electric. Thank you sweet Jesus. Instead of carrying candles around and playing 17th century games I just get to bathe in icy cold water and cook all the meals on the grill or in the microwave. Oh the luxury. And now I have to suck it up and make the phone call because we can no way pay this off before the end of the month. And I can't handle losing my electric too. I don't even like it when storms knock the power out for 10 minutes.

At least my car payments will be up to date on the 15th. But of course that means making over $900 in payments this month. Pretty pathetic when your payment is only a little over $300/month.

I am feeling pretty PO right now. PO enough that I am jealous of POOR people. At least they can claim the OR. We are just sitting here being PO hoping to one day reclaim the OR and become POOR again. Maybe in September.

At the very least I am not hungry anymore. That's a win.

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